Zatoichi The Blind Swordsman

Kitano, 2003



Have you ever heard of the preposition that suggests everyone has an evil twin? Well if this is to be believed, then who would be the evil twin of James Bond? Austin Powers? I think not. No, it would have to be the character of Zatoichi from Japan. After all, Bond has been the central character in about twenty films, ranging from Golden Eye to Goldfinger, just as Zatoichi has been the star of over twenty films, ranging from Zatoichi's Vengeance to Zatoichi and the Chess Expert. As far as which one is the evil individual, I am not entirely certain, but the point is Zatoichi was a huge sensation back in the 60s over in Japan, just as Bond was in America. Zatoichi The Blind Swordsmanis the latest entry in the long list of films based on the blind as a bat Zatoichi.

But who is this Zatoichi? Nobody (or at least I don’t) really knows. The myth behind Zatoichi is really very intriguing, I must admit. He is a blind wanderer, but he happens to be a master with the sword and the art of combat. He also is enormously wise and intelligent. He keeps to himself, but cross his path and he’ll cut you into five different pieces. There doesn’t seem to be much known about his past, which makes him quite captivating. Zatoichi is actually a much better than character than Bond. I mean come on, even if Bond could have not been shot all those times, he would definitely have an STD or a dozen from all those chicks he’s with. Anyways, the character is very strong, which is very important to me because this film, and no doubt the entire series, would be significantly hindered.

You see, this newest entry into the series I found to be a bit…’off’ at times, and one of the major things that saves it is the actual character. At a few points during the runtime I simply lost interest in the plot. It some times seemed to meander off aimlessly for about ten minutes before coming back to what matters. This was really very distracting. Another enormous blow to the quality was the violence. The choreography to the fights is reasonably good, but the blood looked painfully CGI. Every time someone was cut up I cringed, not because of the violence but because of the fakeness of the violence. I just didn’t buy it, which is disappointing because one of the main focuses of the series is this Zatoichi guy ripping people up.

But I will give the movie credit. As I’ve said before, the character is awesome. I do not need to go any further than that with him, but it should be noted there are some other great characters. For example, the body guard for hire I thought came off as a very reservered and multifaced opponent. I mean, he really wasn’t even evil, he was just trying to take care of his wife. I thought this was a nice change from the whole ‘evil bad guy is evil because, uh, he is’ thing that sometimes happens. There are also two young geisha ‘woman’ who were very interesting and become an important part of the plot. While sometimes their characters lead up completely unimportant and boring scenes, they generally are very good to watch.

The rest of the great characters are the ones that are there for comic relief. I actually think what this film does best is comic relief. I really thought it was quite the funny movie. Every time that half naked, certifiable idiot wannabe Samurai ran by screaming at the top of his lungs I could not help but to just laugh. There are quite a few genuinely funny instances. I also thought the music was very well suited, entertaining and original. It often times uses the actions of characters in the background match up with the rhythm or be part of the music, such as the farmers plowing the field or when the house is being built. It gives it a nice unique touch and a pinch of humour.

Unfortunately, I did not Zatoichi for much more than that. The plot was just sometimes much too misdirected, the violence and fights were generally terribly handled, and what in the world was up with the five minute dance sequence? I guess I should be glad that it had such a fascinating antagonist however, and I should be thankful that the comic relief and music worked perfectly in the movie. I wouldn’t really recommend you go out in buy this, but it is worth seeing if only for Zatoichi. Even though I wasn’t a huge fan of this particular entry, I am still going to investigate some of the original admissions to see how they fair. I must say I will miss the half naked spear guy however. He both hilarious and scary at the same time.